Never a Dull Moment
by KnowingSmile
Summary: After having his heart restored to him Howl begins to court Sophie. But as Sophie pointed out, happily ever after with Howl is bound to be interesting indeed. Book plot mixed with touches of the movie. MF,WAFF This is mostly the book, with only Sophies ch
1. Never a Dull Moment

Hey there, your friendly neighborhood Mazoku here to bring you a HMC book/movie mix romance fanfic. There are just not enough Sophie/Howl stories out there, and none as of yet that I could find that have lemon as an ingredient. Yes, I fan girl the plot and the fluff, but people, I like some action too! Lol, so here ya go, story + lemon. And a dash of angst to mix it up a bit. I kept mostly to the book for plot references, but used the movie character designs because I prefer starlit hair to ginger, and Howl is just hot.

I own nothing, HMC is the paper baby of DWJ and the movie is Miyazaki-sama's, I'm just fanfic-ing for shits and giggles. To sue me would be as profitable a venture as trying to squeeze blood from a stone, nothing is there to squeeze out. okay, that said, enjoy.

MangaMazoku

A few days after Howls had his heart returned and everything's been sorted out.

Sophie Hatter looked out on the wastes sliding through the open door of the moving castle. With the witch and her fire demon both dead comings and goings of the moving castle had returned back to their own brand of normal. Normal for the occupants of the moving castle being making a mess, and Sophie cleaning up after them. At the moment Sophie was engaged in the task of sweeping out what remained of Michaels last attempt at a wind spell Howl had assigned him to do. Needless to say, the spell had backfired in the most dramatic way, leaving the room coated in a fine layer of soot stirred up from Calcifers grate.

The young apprentice had fled upstairs in the wake of Sophie's temper, and was now occupied with the task of scrubbing the soot from his body before leaving to take Martha out on the town later that evening.

"No brains in that boys head sometimes, doing a wind spell in the castle…it's because of Howl he has no sense, that slitherer-outer never stays in long enough to help him with any of his assignments." she grumbled to herself as the last of the soot whisked out the door and onto the heather.

Out the door gray clouds hung low in the sky, it was going to downpour out on the wastes by nightfall, which meant that Market Chipping was also in for a deluge of water. 'Michael and Martha are still planning on going out in weather like this?' Sophie shivered at the thought of being soaked and out in the wind, the old woman in her loathed the cold, and her curse free younger self was still inclined to agree on that point whole-heartedly.

Closing the door and returning the broom to it's home in the closet, Sophie turned her thoughts to Calcifer asleep in the grate and toyed with the idea of waking him so she could make a pot of tea. The fire demon had come in quiet suddenly an hour ago complaining about how wet the outside world was and had quickly fallen to embers dozing over a fresh log. It seemed a pity Sophie planned to wake him.

"Wake up! Calcifer, wake up," one red eye opened and eyed the starry haired woman warily. "I'm cold, I want to heat some water for tea please." Sophie smiled at Calcifer, as if being polite ever worked with him.

"What is it with you people and hot water? Howl all the time yelling 'Calcifer, heat me some water for my bath' at least twice a day, 'Calcifer, I want hot water for a potion!' 'Calcifer, I want some tea!'" the demons rendition of Howl's voice was nearly flawless and earned a giggle from Sophie, heart or no, the man did love to bathe.

"I'm not bullying you Calcifer, please? Be a dear." without waiting for a reply she plopped the kettle on his head without a second thought.

From under the black pot came a long groan followed by, "If I could burn water, I would…"

"Oh Calcifer, calm down, I'm cold, and I'm sure when Howl comes in a nice cup of tea will be nice too."

"Warming up his insides isn't going to make him change into a Prince Charming girl, the man's a toad and you chose to love him anyway." Sophie's face fell at Calcifers words. She knew Howl and commitment were never good friends, as she had said numerous times to numerous people of all stations, Howl was a slitherer-outer, no helping that, but she couldn't help but feel a little jilted that the wizard had to as of yet follow up his words of "we should live happily ever after."

"He loves you Sophie. I just meant don't expect Horrible Howl to change into Prince Howl just because you stuffed his black little heart back through his ribs and into his chest where it belongs. He's still a vain, spend-thrift peacock and nothing will ever change that!"

"I know, it's just that after admitting I love him, I fear he'll try to slither out of that as well, like the other girls before." Sophie could feel her anger coming into her face as she said each word. "I'll darn women repellant charms into all his suits before he slithers away from me!" She stomped her feet and snatched the kettle off Calcifer before the water boiled over onto him.

"Now, is that any way to thank the man who brought you a new hat from Kingsbury then Ms. Nose?" Howl's voice purred into Sophie's ear. She hadn't heard the wizard come in, and jumped at his words so unexpectedly close to her. She spun around to find him only inches from her face, grinning like the rouge he was and holding a new blue hat with a black silk ribbon and stars painted over the underside in silver leaf.

"I thought it fit your starry new hair color." Howl raised his hand to her hair and brushed an errant strand from her cheek. "It compliments my night sky hair nicely don't you think? We're midnight personified together, how decadent and fitting for a wizard and his witch!" Howl laughed at his own joke. His eyes sparkled, no longer marbles, but alive and filled with emotion and life. His long soft hair fell around his face. Sophie had once made the observation that it moved like it had a life of it's own.

Sophie raised her hand and grabbed a fistful of Howl's hair, yanking his face close to hers with a force that would make her mousy self blush, her old self laugh, and the man before her whine.

"Watch it Sophie, you'll tear a chunk out!" Howl cried, pulling her close in an attempt to stop her from pulling any harder. "If you want me to kiss you there are gentler ways of going about it," Sophie felt her cheeks turn scarlet as Howl leaned in further still and breathed gently on her pursed lips, his own soft mouth hovering dangerously close to her own. Howls eye's told her that he had heard everything she had said, and was dead set to prove her wrong, as he was always want to do in anything regarding the hatter and himself.

"I'm not about to slither out of this Sophie, fear not. I just find myself a little stunned that you doubt me after all we've been through. Really Ms. Nose, you snoop so much you're finding things that aren't there to try and put to rights!"

"Well it's a comfort of know you don't plan to slither out again. Having your heart back has given you some sense then." Sophie smiled in spite of trying to look stern and scolding in the face of Howl's arrogant smirk.

"That's where you have it wrong again, Sophie, assuming I have my heart back." The smirk disappeared and was replaced with something so new to appear on Howls face that she at first could not place the emotion. "You stole it away the moment you broke the contract with Calcifer and held it in your hand." Howl closed the last breath of space between the and kissed Sophie firmly on the lips, clutching her to him as if she would somehow meld into his flesh the way his heart had when she restored it to him.

Sophie could place the alien emotion on Howl's face now, love.

a/n okay, first chappy, probably lemon by chp. 3 so if your reading this on you'll have to link back to to read the rest unedited at that point. Reviews are always nice, and I hope you like it. Maybe a little OOC but my friends borrowing the book at the moment so I couldn't refresh while I wrote this. More or less I think it's true to them.


	2. Howls Dating Advice

**A/N: I own nothing, not even the computer this was typed on. HMC belongs to DWJ and Miyazaki owns the character designs I'm referencing. You can have this nice pocket lint if you like though…**

"So after I pick up Martha from the bakery, I'm going to take her to dinner, and then I was thinking we could come back here for tea and a visit with you Sophie, does that sound good to you?" Michael was fresh from the bath and running down a list of 'things to do with Martha' for Sophie while Howl lounged by the fire looking absolutely bored out of his skull and proclaiming his disinterest in Michaels love-life at every opportunity.

"So you want to take her out to dinner, we've got that part memorized, hells teeth Michael, can't you think of anything more original that that?" Howl rant a hand through his black tresses and moaned, "I've taught you the wrong type of wizardry! Haven't you been watching me, if I could hold a degree in the art of woo-ing women, I would be a PhD several times over!"

"What's a PhD?" Michael inquired, "an incubus or something?" That thought worried Sophie, Howl didn't need new incentive in his skirt chasing. Howl laughed and turned from the grate to face them.

"It's an education level, fear not," he cocked an eye to Sophie when he said this, "What I mean my young, painfully inexperienced apprentice, is that a girl likes to be swept off her feet. Dazzled if you will. Go with a theme maybe." he appeared thoughtful, "Take myself for example. I am a roguishly good looking wizard, mysterious, with a penchant for tomfoolery. I charm. I dazzle. I make the girl laugh… Make Martha feel like you will give her the moon, and then, my apprentice, _I hope to god you can do this charm by now_, give it too her." Howl's eyes sparkled with laughter and all present observed how he appeared to puff up with size of his own ego.

"That is the worst advice I have ever heard, you snake!" Sophie growled and shoved Howl from his perch on the chair. Howl fell over with a thud and gave his attacker a confused look.

"You should know me well enough by now, you slitherer, that I will not tolerate such manipulation!" Sophie was surprised by her own offense to what Howl had been suggesting. _'Sadly, that sort of thing does work. Too well.' _Sophie scowled again, reminded of just how many times Howl must have utilized such tactics on poor girls before slithering back to his castle to revel in his triumph over their hearts. What she said aloud was,

"Michael dear, just be yourself and try to show Martha a _completely natural_ good time." At this point the copper haired boy had detected the danger in the air and felt it best to just nod and flee for dear life. Without any more discussion, he excused himself out the door that was on the Wastes and took off at a hurried pace.

"Michael, you can leave through the shop without having to walk as far to the bakery! It looks like it's going to rain!" Sophie ran to the door and called after him even though he was already a fair distance off at the pace he was going.

"That's fine Sophie! If it means passing between you and Master Howl at this point, I'll take my chances with the Wastes and the rain, have a good evening!" he called back to her over the wind. To himself, Michael made a mental note never to ask for relationship and date advice from either of them.

Sophie huffed back inside and glared at the wizard who now stood dusting himself off in the doorway, "I don't understand this obsession you have with everything being _natural_, if you have the skill to make something _super_-natural, I say go ahead and do it."

"Like it even matters anymore, I'm quite sure neither of us will ever be consulted again on such matters. It's all your fault!" she pointed an accusatory finger in Howl's direction.

"My fault? I offered advice in a subject area I happen to have a lot of experience in, would you mind telling me why _you _are mad at me for it!" he held his arms out in defeat, Sophie was riled up now, and Howl knew that when she got like this, there was no stopping her.

Sophie fixed her chocolate brown eyes on the floor and tried to get a grip on her emotions. The voice of reason inside her told her to calm down. She knew that she wasn't really upset about the advice Howl had given Michael. On a certain level, it was even good advice, and it was knowledge gained from years of experience. Knowledge that worked on women in Howl's past…many, many women.

"How many conquests have you had Howl Jenkins?" that question blindsided Howl who raised a long fingered hand to his chest in an expression of 'who, me?'.

"Why Ms. Nose, aren't we being hostile today. First I come home to you talking about cursing my favorite clothes, and now you accuse me of philandering, I am offended that you mistrust me so."

"Forgive me if I find your past 'hobbies' a little unsettling Howl." Sophie could feel her anger subsiding, the old lady inside her seemed to be scolding her for her behavior. Howl shook his head and moved to pull Sophie close, this time tucking his hair behind his ears before he did so. The red jewel dangling from his ear glinted in Calcifers firelight. Sophie tensed at the weight of his hands on her shoulders and then relaxed against his warm body with a sigh. Wrapping her own thin arms around his waist she squeezed him tight and breathed in deeply. He smelled of honeysuckle today.

"Sophie, tonight lets go on our own outting. If you want, I can go upstairs and make myself up as I did for the other women, and then take you out onto the heather and promise you the moon." he ran his fingertips down through her starry hair, over her temple making her shiver. Then continued on down until he had captured her chin and raised her face from where it had been burried in his folds of his white shirt. She looked into his face to find his liquid eyes filled with love again. Howl broke into a grin, "I'll even bring that old guitar too!" Sophie smiled back.

"You don't even know how to play it Howl." To this the man smiled and shrugged, "Never stopped me before."

"You don't have to pretend with me Howl. I know what kind of man you are so your tricks and spells, and makeup, won't work on me." Sophie laughed in spite of herself attempting to be serious. "I love you anyway, despite yourself." she raised up on tiptoe and planted a kiss on the tip of his nose, shocked at her own boldness.

"Despite myself eh? I am Wizard Howl. Women would fight each other off claim my heart for their own." he moved to capture her lips before being stopped by the palm of her hand, which he kissed anyway.

"A tad to close to reality, don't you think Howl?" Sophie's face had returned to serious at the reminder of how close she had come to actually loosing this man who over the past year had stolen her heart, as soundly as she had his. Howl frowned and shook his head. He took her hand and led her to the chair by the grate, and beckoned her to sit in it.

"Calcifer? Do you think that you could find somewhere else to be this evening, I think Sophie and I need some time to ourself. To talk."

The fire demon crackled blew some green flames up the chimney. "It's going to rain Howl. You may not be tied to me anymore, but I still bear no fondness for liquids."

The wizard glared into Calcifers flames and pulled Sophie back out of the chair and towards the door where the portal was still set to the wastes. "Fine, stop the castle here then and don't more it. Come on Ms. Nose, I can't even get privacy in my own home anymore it seems!"

"Howl…" she began, then thought about it, and decided it would be better to just follow him out onto the heather than argue about getting wet themselves. Howl seemed like he was open to answering her questions for once, so she decided to take that chance while she still had it. If she got a little wet it was worth it to get a straight answer out of Horrible Howl.

The wind caught her hair and swirled it lightly about her face while the longer black hair of the man leading her blew with the wind in long whipping strands. She thought about brushing those forming knots out of his soft hair later and blushed a slight pink. Howl would never risk her near his hair again, _even _if the ginger dye had been an accident. The smell of honeysuckle wafted off his skin in the wind and brought with it a more natural scent that was all Howl. Sophie wished greatly that someday she could see him without the illusions he clothed himself in. When that day came he would truly be hers. The day he dropped his beauty spells in front of her would give her the greatest affirmation of his love that even his word could manage to convey. Sophie had heard Howl speak of love in regards to other women, her sister Lettie in particular, but she had never in the time she had known him, seen him totally free of illusions. Even drunk, hungover, or sick with a cold Howl had somehow managed to keep up at least some of his beauty spells.

'Vain peacock' thought Sophie. They had come to a dip in the heather, and hear Howl dropped to one knee in front of her. His large blue eyes gazing up at her, his raven hair whipping around his face, spells or not, the man was gorgeous.

"Sophie, I hope you can forgive the cold, but I'd rather not do this in front of Calcifer…I'd never hear the end of it from him." Her heart fluttered in her chest and she felt the blood rush into her cheeks making them rosy. "I don't want anybody else but you Sophie…I love you. You held my heart in your hand, saved my life, and been a nice person despite my best efforts." Howl mock frowned to himself, "too nice really, in fact, you were so nice to that fire demon of the Witch of the Wastes that it almost got us all killed…" Sophie started to argue by was stopped by Howl as he continued, "I love you Sophie. I love you, and I can't seem to stop saying it. It feels so nice to say it even after knowing you love me. It feels better than the times those other women said they loved me. When you say you love me I know you mean it, I'm not just a beautiful illusion to you." He raised to his full height again, bringing Sophies face close to his again to breathe over her lips once more, beforeing ensnaring them with his own soft lips.

Sophie fisted his hair again and massaged the base of his scalp with her fingertips as he kissed her with a bruising force. Faintly she noticed that the rain had begun to fall, and was slowly but surely soaking the both of them, yet neither let the other go, standing out in the middle of the wet heather, devouring each others mouths with such a passion it was good nobody was about to witness them. At length Sophie broke the kissed and laughed slapping Howl's shoulder lightly.

"You slitherer-outer, you never answered my question!" Howl smiled and had the good grace to look confused.

"Oh Ms. Nose, I forget what question you asked me, or if you even asked a question at all." he kissed her again, proding with the tip of his tounge to be allowed entrance to her mouth again. Sophie sighed into the kiss and decided to let it go, it wouldn't be Howl if getting any answer out of him were easy.

"Why couldn't you say this in front of Calcifer? You two shared a heart for five years. Surely such a confession wouldn't be too hard to do would it? And that way we wouldn't be soaked through either!" For by now they both were wet to the skins under their clothes. Small rivers seemed to run from every strand of Howl's carefully styled hair, now a mess of knots.

"I have a reputation to keep," he flipped a tendril of his wet hair, sending water flying, "I am Horrible Heartless Howl afterall."

"Oh you're horrible indeed. Look at me, I'm soaked to the bone! Let's head back to the castle so I can take a hot shower and get into some dry clothes."

"You? My little mouse, I'm the one who until recently had a very bad cold, I should get the first shower." Howl laughed but by then Sophie had already started running across the grey heather toward the moving castle.

"First one back gets the hot water!" the hatter called over the wind.

yay, chp. 2. Oohhhh, both are wet and cold, with only one shower stall and a bathtub. lets see who gets back first shall we? If you're reading this on you'll have to go to for the full unedited version of chp. 3, same username, MangaMazoku. See you there!


	3. Cat and Mouse

A/N: I own nothing, this is a fanfic, DWJ is supreme goddess of Howl's world, all bow down and pour libations to her. Lol. Enjoy, read, and maybe review (pweese).

MangaMazoku

Calcifer was relaxing in his grate when he was disturbed by the sound of the castle door slamming and a pair of feet hurriedly pounding up the stairs of the castle. Raising himself up a little from the wood, he could just see a soaked female form disappear into the hallway toward the bathroom leaving a trail of puddles behind it.

"Didn't I say it was going to rain? Nobody ever listens to me." The door to the castle opened a second time and the poor fire demon was annoyed to find Howls head come into view, soaked and dripping with rainwater.

"Lots of hot water, I'm taking a bath and getting out of these soaked clothes before my cold comes back with a vengeance. Quickly Calcifer." The soaking wet wizard began to ascend the stairs to the bathroom and carry out this course of action when Calcifer called out from behind him.

"Howl, Sophie's up there right now, you're going to have to wait for once. She won't take two hours like you do anyway."

"I'm soaked to the bone, I need a hot shower or the cold will return and all my beauty will be spoiled with illness." The look on Howl's face gave away his true intentions all to easily to the fire demon, though Calcifer guessed he wasn't really trying to hide them from him anyway.

He popped and sparked, "She'll kill you." Howl grinned and began to stalk up the stairs again, his lecherous intent more obvious than ever, as well as his determination.

"Oh, no doubt of it. Worse yet, she'll probably switch my cosmetic potions on me again." He looked back down into the main room of the castle and placed a hand over his heart solemnly, "But that, my friend, is a risk my hair and I are willing to take." With that, Howl disappeared behind the landing and over the rush of the hot water filling the claw footed tub, Calcifer heard the door open, close, and finally, the click of the lock turning.

"The man is suicidal." Calcifer declared, fizzled and popped for a bit with indecision, and finally flew up the chimney and out over the wastes. Lucky for the demon, the rain had come to a drizzle and soon stopped, leaving him safe to avoid the castle for the next couple of hours. Leaving Howl and Sophie to battle in privacy. The nature of which Calcifer was curious to know and hoped get the gossip out of the house spiders later that night.

Sophie turned the decorated knobs on the tub and began to fill it with steaming water. She had contemplated trying the shower stall again, but past experiences left her suspicious of the contraption. The first time she'd tried it out, she had been an old woman and standing under the hot water, while it had felt good, was nothing to compare to relaxing in the bath.

The second attempt at the shower stall had been only a few nights ago, and she was still unsure as to what had exactly happened. One moment the water had been hot and running over her skin as she lathered up her newly white hair. The next, her steaming hot rain had turned to ice water and caused her to run screaming out from under it, suds getting in her eyes, and causing several very unladylike words to come forth from her mouth. After rinsing her head under the facet and drying off, she found out from Calcifer that Michael had just flushed the downstairs toilet and that was what had caused the water to suddenly run cold. As to how that would have any connection whatsoever with her shower and the temperature of the water, Sophie was confused at best. She had eventually decided that it must be some black magic of sorts and resolved never to attempt use of the shower stall again.

Over the splashing of water from the facet into the tub, the sound coming from the bathroom door opening, closing, and the lock sliding into place was drowned out. Not that Sophie would have heard anything that Howl hadn't wished her to hear anyway. He was still a wizard after all. The young woman remained still blissfully unaware of her intruding as he began sliding out of the sleeves of his blue and silver coat. The same coat Sophie had first met him in. At the time it seemed rather flamboyant, but now it just looked like a sopping wet pile of fabric as Howl kicked it into the corner by the door. He began to under the buttons at the collar of his white shirt, before thinking it over for a second, shook his head, and sent a spray of water droplets around the bathroom. A few of which struck Sophie's cheek.

The hatter jumped, and turned quickly to find that she wasn't in the bathroom alone as she'd originally thought. Her eyes went wide with surprise and her lily white cheeks flushed with embarrassment to find Howl there only two feet behind her, water falling off his long black hair that was now plastered to his head, his white shirt of black pants following a similar trend and clinging to his body in all the wrong places and causing young Sophie to blush even brighter. His bright blue eyes glinted with the same love that had filled them moments ago out in the heather, but now they also had a predatory glint to them. A look that both frightened and thrilled Sophie in ways that she had heard of, but was too lady-like as the oldest of three to admit to having. Howl smiled.

"I got back first, I get the first shower." Sophie made to move towards the bathroom door and force Howl back out the door. However he just leaned on the wall and grinned that mischievous grin that told her he knew he was in trouble and didn't care one bit. _'That's the thing about wizards, they are always so full of themselves.' _Sophie thought to herself.

"Do you really think I would let you beat me to the bath before me if I had not willed it as such?" Howl lifted himself off the wall and pulled his wet housekeeper towards him. "I do enjoy the chase, especially if it's you I'm pursuing." he grinned wider and kissed Sophie's forehead gently.

"At least I'm the only one your chasing then, you snake. Are all wizards as lecherous or is it just you Howl Jenkins?" Sophie's flare of anger at Howl's perversion chased away some of her blush, enabling her to recover the scolding tone in her voice that her aged alter-ego possessed.

"Now now, Sophie, don't be like that." Howl chided and kissed her again. This time pressing their lips together and inching her backwards toward the overflowing claw foot tub. Sophie relented a little, returning the kiss and eventually meeting his impatient tongue with her own timid one as Howl deepened their kiss. The two were dancing on clouds when to both their surprise, they landed with a splash in the hot water of the tub.

Sophie's dress rode up around her thighs the already open collar of her top ripped the rest of the way open as Howl landed full force on top of her in the water, exposing the tops of her small breasts to the open air. Howl crouched over her in the water, the puffed sleeves of his white shirt sagging heavy with water and through the thin material Sophie glimpsed patches of Howl's pale pink skin.

"Well, here we are." Howl grinned and leaned in again for another kiss.

A/N: okay, took some artistic license on how Howl's bathroom plumbing was connected, but hey, if anybody knows why the water runs cold when you flush the toilet I'd be curious to know, because that is a regular occurrence in my building too! Hope you enjoy, hee hee, ain't I evil leaving this as it is though. Story on a brief hiatus for a week because I'm going camping, till then, read and review. As always,

MangaMazoku


	4. Gnawed Hearts

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the characters, D.W.J., or Studio Ghibli. I'm just a poor college student with a tendency towards the perverse. Please forgive typos, in the hurry to get this posted I spell-checked it and read it through a second time for grammar errors, but I am only human, so more than likely a few typo's escaped me.

Sophie stared at Howl and tried to decide what the proper response for a young lady caught in such a situation would be. Nothing the ladies in the hat shop had ever discussed on such matters concerning men and women involved bathtubs. At least…none they would speak of in front of Sophie. In her evesdropping on their conversations between talking to the hats, she had learned a number of useful things she could put to use in her everyday life. Even a few strategies for dealing with young men had come up once or twice between Fanny and her friends while Sophie was present. None of them could ever be applied with any success to Wizard Howl.

'A person as un-natural as Howl can never be measured by the normal standards of society' Sophie thought with a frown. Outside her musings however, time had not stopped, and Howl had taken her flustered reaction to his and hers current situation as opportunity to begin unbuttoning and peeling off the sopping wet shirt that even then still clung scandalously to his skin.

"Howl…what are you doing?" Sophie gasped, snapping out of her revery. Howl grinned and undid the last pearl button exposing a lightly defined torso and slick skin flushed pink from the hot water.

"Snakes don't just slither Sophie, they also shed their skins." Howl laughed but Sophie turned a shade whiter under her blush. Howl rolled his eyes and guessed the meaning of this reaction, "I'm not really going to shed my skin! Really, you don't think sometimes you Mad Hatter, by skin I meant clothes."

The young housekeeper raised herself up in the water so that she was no long under the wizard, but facing him. "Well what am I suppose to think sometimes with you! Normal people may shed clothes, but you, you have oozed green slime, I wouldn't put it past you to shed skin!"

"Or gnaw hearts, suck souls, change lovely ladies into spiders." Howl ticked off the statements on his fingers with a grin, enjoying fully how angry and embarrassed he was making Sophie. He also used her distraction to shrug off the wet shirt and let it slide carefully out of the tub and onto the tile floor.

"You beast! You started those rumors, not me." Sophie scolded, "I just heard them from the other ladies in the hat shop. Great Horrible Howl, gnawing on hearts and sucking souls, for all I knew of you it could have been true." Catching the smug look on Howl's face Sophie added, "Though now I believe you would be to vain as to sully your creamy skin and stain your flamboyant clothes by gnawing on a young girls heart."

"Now now Miss Manners, do you picture me using a knife and fork in my heart eating?" Howl gave and exaggerated shrug followed by a wicked smile. "I prefer to gnaw on young ladies necks if you must know. And I see a very luscious specimen in front of me right now I'd like to take a bite out of."

Sophie gapped at the play on words, blushed, and tried to think of anything to say to such a statement. Yet the man in front of her was naked to the waist, his perfect skin slick with hot water, and looking at her with a predatory gaze. With the black strands of his hair wild and dripping about his face, and his clear blue eyes fixed on hers, Sophie felt the first twinges of fear and heard her pulse pounding in her ears.

_'When we argue like this I forget that Howl is a man.'_ Sophie Hatters mind raced as Howl took advantage of that moment to embrace her again, wrapping his arms tightly around her and bringing her face up to meet his. '_what do I do?' _Howl kissed her passionately on the lips, trying to coax her mouth open to meet his kiss like they had earlier. But he could feel the young woman go stiff in his arms and her lipped pursed against his own insistent tongue. He released her and leaned back again to look her in the eyes.

Sophie retreated as far back at she could against her side of the tub, wide eyed and confused. Howl had expected anger from her, it was Sophie and that seemed unavoidable when he was concerned, but what was plainly written on her face now was fear. _'Howl you snake, she is just a young girl.'_ Howl frowned, in giving his heart back to him, he would have accused Sophie of adding a conscience along with it. It made his heart hurt to see Sophie looking at him like that. Reaching out he held her small hand in his, rough and calloused from scrubbing pots and floors, wrinkled from bathwater and no longer old age.

"I've been a beast." Sophie's face softened and the fear retreated from her eyes.

"You're always a beast Howl." she smiled, that was the closest Howl had ever come to an apology, and she appreciated the effort.

"I didn't want to frighten you. You act older than you actually are, I forgot that. Enjoy your bath," He swung one foot over the side of the tub, bent quickly to retrieve his shirt from where it was lay in a wet pile and was about to leave when he felt Sophie's arms wrap around his middle and begin pulling him backwards on the tile.

"It's okay Howl, I'm just a silly girl who spent too much time in a hat shop making tacky hats. All I know about men comes from what I heard there, and trust me, that was not much."

"Though I must hear what your learned from Fanny and her flock of pigeons at a later date. I would be very interested to know what they spent all that time squawking about." Howl turned in her arms and returned the embrace, "What shall I do with you Miss Nose. Will you have me leave, or stay?"

Sophie mulled her decision over. All that had happened his day was making her head hurt. She was still unsure what Howl was expecting of her, or his intentions for invading her bath, but asking Howl to explain would be terribly bold, rather embarrassing, and slightly rude.

"What are your intentions for invading my bath in the first place you dirty old man?"

Howl raised and eyebrow in question. "Did nobody ever explain to you what men and women do together?" Sophie blushed again and ran her fingertips nervously over his shoulders in a circular motion.

"I know the general idea of what type of things go on…you want to do that?" She made it a question, but she could guess the answer already. "How many women have you had…relations… with?"

"And I described you as mousy when I met you. You really are quite bold." Howl kissed her forehead and began backing her across the small bathroom to the shower stall.

"Don't you change the subject you slitherer-out--" Howl cut her off mid sentence with another kiss. Sophie's mind jumped to scold the wizard for his lecherous actions, but a pair of skilled hands had already wrapped themselves in her hair and began massaging her scalp in the most delicious way causing shivers to run down her back and raise goose bumps on her arms.

These she wrapped around Howl and pulled his body close to hers as they finished their stumbling trek across the bathroom and ended it with a firm thud against the tile mosaic of the shower wall. Breaking their passionate kiss Howl began nibbling his way down her chin and moved on to her neck, sucking and biting at the joint of her neck and shoulder in such a way that made Sophie gasp and moan slightly in the back of her throat.

"You taste delicious Miss Hatter. I may just take up the habit of gnawing hearts after all, or maybe just yours." he nipped at her collarbone and removed a hand from its nest in her hair long enough to slip the loosened top of her dress over her shoulders, freeing her smallish breasts to the cool air and his hungry mouth.

"You wouldn't dare gnaw my heart, I own yours now as I recall and wouldn't hesitate to return the favor believe me." but the threat was lost in more gasps when Howl began massaging her left breast and kissing her neck again.

She could feel his smile pressed against her wet skin, "I know you would." was all he replied before sliding her dress the rest of the way off her body and kicking it aside to rest with his shirt as witness to the new use they had discovered for the shower.

This chapter will continue on (same username) complete with the new use for the shower in a day or two. For those to young to read that part, well, then Howl and Sophie had a water fight, played with the rubber ducky, and when to bed afterward.

A/N: whoa, steamy I'll continue the rest of Chp. 4 on but the lemon won't be up for another day or so since it's 3 in the morning and I have work in a couple hours. Hope they are in character still, Sophie is the harder character to write in this situation because I do think she would be a bit ignorant of 'relations' and rightfully scared. Sorry for the wait, but I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for all the reviews, they make me happy to know my work is getting read.


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